52 Simple Ways to Manage Your Money – 51. Togetherness – For Couples Only
What it is…
Ideas for couples to help them better handle their money— jointly and singly. A nonthreatening environment that encourages communication is the key.
How it helps…
It saves marriages and eases tensions.
It creates partnerships through the synergy of two people working toward a common goal.
Key items to look for…
Set aside a place for discussions about finances. Keep interruptions at a minimum. The place for discussions should be comfortable and free of distractions.
Establish ground rules:
- Each partner may speak in turn, without interruption, for three minutes.
- Treat each other and each others ideas with respect.
- Set aside a percentage of income for each person to spend with out question.
- Each party has equal say in every matter.
Keys to action …
Seek a neutral and qualified third party to assist in the process, if necessary.
Read books or attend classes on communication skills.
The bottom line is respect and consideration.
SET IT UP
Begin on an experimental basis.
STEP ON IT
Strive to make a “win win” situation the model.
STEP ON IT +
Talk about the new feelings of enrichment.
Notice …
Your feelings when your partner makes a financial decision with out consulting you.
Your comfort level during the planning stages.
Your ability to stay present.
The temptation to bring up old issues.
But what if…
My partner refuses to do it?
- Explain that it is important to you to try it— at least on a temporary basis.
- Consult a professional counselor.
- Show your partner the advantages to both parties, especially the ways in which he or she will benefit.
Thought primers….
To me, money means….
When I see you spending money, I…
The difficult thing about working together might be…
One of the ways that our relationship might improve by working together financially is…
When I think about giving up some financial power, I…
If it turns out that we can each win…
